I must not have gotten the memo…

… that today is “Leave the OD Intern All By Herself” Day at OMS.

My office is divided into two parts: the front office and the back office. Overall, we have 18 employees– 10 in the front office and eight in the back. However, at this very moment, there are two people in the front office and two people in the back.

Four people.

Out of 18.

So where is everyone?

Well, more people were here this morning, but they left. All the bigwigs of the office are at training and they took a couple other people with them.  IT Guy Matt is at a doctor’s appointment. Intern Bri (the one I share an office with) didn’t show up today, so I’m guessing she’s sick. The IT interns and Office Assistant Gabe are still in class. And other people aren’t coming in until later…

[cue Eric Carmen's "All By Myself"]

[in surround sound]

To make matters worse, I woke up this morning with a ginormous headache, and so to alleviate my headache, I made a full pot of coffee at work today not realizing at the time that people were leaving/not here. So even though I made a vow to cut down on my coffee consumption, I’ve been left to drink all the coffee I made. I’m only on my second cup. And I’ve already peed three times since I got to work. I don’t even like coffee. Even though it keeps me warm and it can taste good sometimes and it makes my headaches better and it makes me happy and it feels good…

Anyway! This kind of made my day: Click!

You know, I wouldn’t be so lonely if Supervisor Andy would just approve my proposal to get an office kitten.

Halfway through writing that last sentence, I took another bathroom break.

Lalala. Coffee. I think it’s about time for cup #3.

In other news, IT Intern Mike kidnapped my keyboard and gave me a crappy one that’s crooked, so I’m using a coupon book and my stack of Post-It Notes to make it even. Yay for being resourceful and improvising!

Oh man, I need to work. I’m too distracted right now.

The other day, I walked all the way from work back to campus. I work on 29th and Como, so that was like a hundred billion miles! Yay for being healthy and exercising!

Guess what! The only supervisor left at the office just told me we’re going to shut down the office for lunch and go somewhere to eat. YUSSS!

Also, I’m in love with the trees outside my window. They’re turning pretty fall colors. Mmm…

Ahh distractions! Caffeine!

The phone just rang! Once. Wrong number?

Okay. I’m getting back to work now. Fo real.

Employed and Off to a Great Start

Nanny. Childcare worker. Baby Photographer. Caterer. Barista.

Today, I add Organizational Development Intern to that hodgepodge of a résumé. And yes, I will now proceed to tell you about my first day working at OMS. (If you really want to know what OMS stands for, I’ll leave it to you to do some sleuthing. You’ll be like Nancy Drew! Or a stalker.)

Well. First I woke up at 5:50 am. Yes, five colon fifty in the ante friggin’ meridiem. Actually, it wasn’t that bad at all. I thought it was a beautiful and refreshing morning. Besides, 5:50 isn’t that early. So, I apologize for the negativity. I just like to type angry things.

Anyway, my day started off with a Pop Tart and my glasses breaking. A screw and a lens popped off and, because I couldn’t find my tiny screwdriver, I was forced to tape my glasses on the side. It was nerdtastic.

When I got to work, my supervisor gave me a tour and introduced me to the whole office. And let me tell you, taped glasses are the perfect accessory for your first day on the job and for meeting people in a professional setting. Yeah. It’s especially great when THE boss treats you to lunch and sits across from you in a booth for 45 minutes.

Aside from the glasses, work was pretty good. They threw a lot of readings and information at me, which was a little overwhelming, but I’m sure I’ll manage. I’ve also started working on my first project of sorts, so that’s exciting. But what’s even more exciting is that I have my own office! Exclamation mark [point?]! It’s got four yellow walls and everything! It even has these two big windows that give me a perfect view of the sky and the clouds and the Lucy with the diamonds and the birds and the airplanes and Heaven. I like it. There’s supposed to be another intern there, but she’s not coming until August.

When I got home from work, I was determined to find that screw that had fallen out of my glasses. I was bent on finding it even if it took hours. So, I went to the spot where my lens had fallen, got on my hands and knees, and immediately felt something under my thumb. And hey, wouldja look at that? It’s my ol’ pal, Screwy!

Once we were reunited, I visited Jordan who saved me with his cool-looking screwdriver/compass/bottle opener device. And thus, the Broken Glasses Fixed with Tape Episode came to an end. Hooray!

And now, it’s time for bed, so I can wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.

Dream #546: Fulfilled

Several summers ago, I told my dad that I wanted to be a bartender. I wasn’t a fan of alcohol by any means, but after seeing some bartenders on TV doing cool tricks, it sparked my interest. Not to mention the drinks looked sweet. But after a while, my dream of being a bartender started to die a little, and I started to focus on more “realistic” goals. Still, every time my parents would discuss what to put in our unfinished basement, I would suggest a bar. Though my dream was becoming even more of a dream than a reality, maybe I could bartend part-time, or at least try it once in my life.

Well, during work last Friday, I finally got my chance to work at the bar for a wedding reception. And it was awesome! Sure, it was a pretty simple bar– just some beer, pop, and wine, but it was still pretty fun. And the other bartender and I got tips! Now, technically, we’re not allowed to get tips, but hey, what my boss doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? Hehe…

Overall, it was a nice experience. And while it’s not making me reconsider bartending as a permanent career choice, I wouldn’t mind trying it again. Actually, I can’t wait to try it again.

WTF?!

So… my baby photographer manager isn’t very good at her job. She’s nice and all, but she never seems to let her employees know what’s going on, mostly because she herself doesn’t know what’s going on. She’s new with the company and doesn’t know how things are run. As I have witnessed, this does not sit well with her older employees. I’ve just started working, but as of tonight, it’s not sitting well with me either.

Last week, she told me to e-mail her the dates in July when I couldn’t work. Okay, that makes sense. We’re supposed to request days off a month in advance or whatever. I send her the dates and she tells me she’ll e-mail me the schedule that day. So, I wait and… nothing. No e-mail. Not that day, or the following, or the days after that. Finally, I call her tonight, and she says, “Oh, you didn’t get the schedule? I’ll send it to you when I get home tonight.” Sweet. Maybe now I’ll know what’s going on. So, I wait some more and finally, at 12:10, she sends it. I look it over and– okay. In my e-mail, I gave her specific dates I couldn’t work, and at the end, I mentioned that I can’t work a lot of weekends (including Fridays) because that’s when my other job has me scheduled to work, and what did she do?! She ONLY scheduled me to work weekends. As in some Saturdays and Sundays, and every Friday. Including the 27th, which I specificially asked off because I have to play in a concert that night. And it’s my birthday…

Okay. What kind of shit is that?! Yeah, I know I just started and I’m in no position to be picky, but I did what she asked, didn’t I? What’s the point of me telling her when I can’t work when she’s just going to disregard it? Son of a freaking bitch. So now I’m going to be totally free during the week, then come Friday or Saturday, I’ll be working up to 12 or 13 hours in one day! That’s 12 or 13 hours on my feet doing manual labor-ish things. F*** that shit. At this rate, I might as well get a third job to keep me busy during the week because I wanna make some money this summer. College tuition is a bitch. A bitch that likes to rape me. Repeatedly.

Whatever. I’m just pissed right now. I’ll get over it or figure something out, but shit… Shit damn mother trucker. I was really hoping I’d be working more during the summer and my hours would be spread somewhat evenly throughout the week. But no. Both jobs decide to spite me and make me work long hours during the weekends. I’m just not looking forward to the days when I’ll have to do both. It’s just so tiring! There’s so much shit to do and tons of running around. It’s exhausting. And did I mention my hand’s still a little sore and swollen?

I just wanna cry right now. Don’t get me wrong– I like both my jobs. Just not on the same day. And I’d like them better if I was actually working Monday to Thursday. Hopefully, I can get a hold of someone and switch a few days. And maybe I can pick up some weekday shifts, though that doesn’t look possible right now…

Geez. I just want a hug from a certain someone right now… Whenever I’d feel frustrated, like I am right now, he would make me feel better. He didn’t have to change anything, but just being able to vent and talk to him made things so much better. As cliché as it sounds, listening to what he had to say and hearing his voice was enough to make me feel fine again. I’d give anything to have that back. Sigh…

Why is it that the solutions to making things better and feeling good are always so elusive? I figured having a job would help solve some of my problems. And while having two jobs are solving some of my problems, they’re creating a few more problems at the same time. There’s always a catch, isn’t there? I’m grateful for my jobs, but why can’t I have a job with no strings attached?

That’s it. I’m going to be a hooker.

F***.

That pretty much sums up my yesterday. Let’s do a rundown, shall we?

• F***, my friend bailed on me at the last minute because she’s anal about… stuff. But things would’ve worked out just fine if she hadn’t bailed. F***in’ A. She overreacted. Then she goes and acts like she hadn’t let me down, I was all happy, and the day was off to a good start. F*** that.
• F***, I almost hit a motorcyclist.
• F***, I just spent an hour and a half slicing bread at work and now my hand is swollen. I need this hand…
• F***! I just spilled a glass of ice tea at the first table I was serving! I f***ing suck at serving. And that little stunt set me back the rest of the night, which was hard since I had more tables to serve.
• Aww, f***… So, I’m clearing tables when the bride and groom do their first dance as a married couple. The bride was so pretty and the moment was so beautiful that I’m just kind of mesmerized and staring. Suddenly, f***! I feel something rushing to my eyes and all I could think of was how much I missed Mike. And no, I didn’t cry. I just walked away… and blinked a lot.
• F***, I helped at another wedding reception and when I got there, the band was playing a slow song and everyone was all coupled up on the dance floor. Why couldn’t that be Mike and me?
• F***, I didn’t get off work until 1:30 in the morning. Eight and a half hours of work and all I had to eat was a Kit-Kat bar.
• F***, I was trying to sleep when I got to thinking about the couples tonight and all those pent up tears and emotions came rushing out. F***, talk about catharsis.

That was pretty much it. Sure, it wasn’t the worst of days, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

You know what? F*** this post. I’m going to bed.

Baby, I’m amazed

For the past few days, I’ve been training at the hospital, and it’s been really interesting. By working there, I’ve gotten a better view of how strange we humans really are. Interacting with such a diverse “clientele,” you get to see the different relationships that are out there, and wow. Just wow.

When I walk into a room and see the parents, I like to see them as more than just that. I like to see them as two people who really love each other. So much so that they decided to have sex and have a baby. And while I know that these are modern times, and lots of people have sex sans the love, I like to pretend that those morals still exist. And when it’s a sweet, loving couple, I like to believe that they did everything by the book: fell in love, got married, had sex, and started a family.

I also try to imagine what the history of their relationship is like. One couple, for example, looked fairly young. Maybe recent graduates or younger. They were married and their little boy was their first child. Mom was very nice, sweet-looking, and quick to smile. She was probably well-liked growing up. Dad looked nice too, and also looked like he could’ve been in a frat. I imagined they had a sweet relationship. They could’ve been high-school sweethearts. It could’ve started out innocently, but grown to the point where they really matured and fell in love. As their relationship progressed, Dad grew out of the “typical guy, watch sports, and hang out at bars” phase and into the married, proud dad I saw holding his baby boy and kissing his little forehead so lovingly. He’s going to be a good dad.

Well, like I said, you get to see a lot of different relationships. Some look like they’re meant to be, others surprise you, and others make you want to smack the parents. Here’s an example of each:

1. Dad makes his wife comfortable while also tending to their newborn. You can see in his eyes how happy he is as he asks if he can practice wrapping his son (sending a smile to Mom’s face) and how he talks on and on about how the baby’s going to love Nascar just like him. He makes sure Mom’s okay and then accompanies us to have the photos taken. He was so in love with his child that he didn’t want to let him out of his sight. [Okay, folks. One, two, three-- "Awww..."]

2. A room that smelled like cigarette smoke and had some shady-looking visitors actually contained a couple that looked happily in love. Physically, they weren’t a typical match. Mom was on the larger side, and Dad was as thin as a stick. Both were a little older. It was Mom’s third, and Dad’s second child, yet they acted similar to newlyweds with their first child. Also, to be honest, Mom and Dad looked a little financially-in-need, and usually, those couples opt not to buy photos and act a little cold toward the photographers. But this couple was really nice and happy, and bought a package!

3. I was entering some info and asked Dad what Mom’s name was. He said it, and it sounded exotic. I asked him how to spell it, and he said, “I don’t know how to spell it.” I thought about it and realized that even I knew how to spell it because I read it somewhere earlier.

Okay. How can you have sex with someone, go through nine months and the actual birthing process, and not know how to spell her name? Yes, it’s a somewhat hard name to spell, but come on. Learn to spell yo’ baby’s momma’s name! Geez. Well, I guess it’s a good thing they named the kid after him, so he’d remember how to spell it. Ugh. I’m amazed. Simply amazed.

It’s people like that who make me bitter. I mean, all day I see these couples that make me think, “How is it that you two were allowed to have sex and procreate while I’m still a virgin?!” If I were to beget offspring into this twisted world, I would at least attempt to make my relationship with the father functional and I would learn how to spell his name.

Couple #2 types make me kinda bitter as well. Some of them are just really weird[-looking], and it just makes me wonder what I could be doing wrong that’s keeping me from finding love like they’ve found. Am I not weird enough? Sigh…

Is it obvious that I just want to get married now? I’m telling you, all these couples and babies being born aren’t doing me any good. And it doesn’t help that I just worked at the first of many wedding receptions.

Okay. Lord? It’s me. Is this a sign of sorts? I mean, I prayed so I went from having no job to two jobs, which are closely related to weddings and babies. Are you trying to tell me something or steer me to a certain path? Am I supposed to get married and have kids? ‘Cause if I am, just send Mike back and I would be more than happy to do it.

Wow. Yeah… I can’t believe I said that. I’m just going to stop right there.

Ouch.

That’s all I have to say. Ouch.

Today was long. Long and brutal. It began with me tearing up my room, and eventually the whole house, trying to find an important legal document until about 4:30 in the morning. At that time, I was on the verge of tears, so I gave up my search and went to bed.

About two hours later, I woke up and got ready for work. Yup, that’s right. After being unemployed for almost two years, I got a job. And not just one, but two jobs! But I’ll get into that later. Anyway, I got ready for work, and then drove there. For those of you who don’t know me, driving scares the shit out of me. And today, I drove the farthest I’ve ever driven. Surprisingly, it actually wasn’t too bad. But maybe that’s because my mom was with me to make sure I knew where I was going… But anyway! My job is to take pictures of the newborn babies at the hospital. Okay, it sounds easy enough, right?. Just point and click. But NO. That’s not it. There’s a sales pitch, the actual picture-taking (which takes several shots), holding infants and not dropping them, making sure you get the sale, filling out order forms, using a computer program, and doing numbers and stuff. Geez. These past couple days, I’ve been training to get everything down. So, I got to the hospital around 9 and stayed until 1ish.

After that, I had two hours to nap and/or eat. Unfortunately, a large chunk of that two hours was spent on driving home with my parents and looking at some cars. By the time I got home, there wasn’t enough time to nap and barely enough time to eat lunch. Not to mention my siblings had eaten all the food because they didn’t think I was going home before having to go to work again.

And that brings me to job #2. Basically, I catered. I had never done anything like that before, and they just kind of threw me in there. No orientation. No training. But everyone was really nice and friendly, and they all helped me out. And man, did I need the help. You do a lot with this job too. Tonight, we catered a wedding reception, and that involved doing the fancy table settings, plating food, serving the food [salad, entree, desert], refilling water, refilling coffee, refilling wine, clearing the tables, washing the dishes (normally, but not today), and putting everything away that was taken out (such as 172+ napkins and a billion packets of sugar). Yeah. So, I was there from 3 until 10, and I probably left earlier than most of the people.

Okay, everyone. Pull out your calculators! How many hours did Rachel work today? That’s right. 11! That’s gotta be a record for me. Another way to think about it is that I worked from 9 am until 10 pm with a two-hour break in between. That’s gross. And now my feet are just about dead. Both my jobs require a lot of standing and walking around, so today was tiring. Oh so tiring. Hopefully my feet recover soon because I have to be back at the hospital tomorrow, and I already know it’s going to be a long day. So many friggin’ babies were born today that have to be photographed tomorrow.

Damn, I’m tired.