I’m in an intermediate state

And it’s not a good place to be.

in·ter·me·di·ate

adj.   Lying or occurring between two extremes or in a middle position or state

Yup.  That’s me.  I’m caught between:
1. Being good and being bad.
2. Wanting to be sorry and wanting to be mad.
3. Being happy and being sad.

(Yay for rhyming, yo.)

I don’t like being between two extremes.  You see, when you’re clearly on one end, there are certain criteria that define your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, etc.  But when you’re in the middle, the criteria just blow up.  They don’t exist.  Instead, you’re left to pick criteria from either extreme.  And you know what?  That’s cheating.  You don’t end up with nice criteria.  You end up with mutt criteria, and mutt criteria do a shoddy job of telling you how to act.

Bleh.

But you know, maybe it’s not that bad being in an intermediate state.  Okay. Allow me to speak nerd for a paragraph or two to explain.

n.   Chemistry A substance formed as a necessary stage in the manufacture of a desired end product.

Well.  That’s encouraging.  “Necessary stage.”  “Desired end product.”  So even though I’m in this intermediate stage now, perhaps it won’t last forever.  It’s good to think of it in the sense that I need to go through this stage first before getting to a stage I want to be at.

Duh.  I should’ve known that.  The evidence is everywhere.

You have to walk before you run.  You have to go through an awkward adolescence before becoming an adult.  You have to wait before… oh, a billion nice things.

So I guess being in an intermediate state, while not completely enjoyable, isn’t entirely a bad thing.  To be honest, that’s not the conclusion I was planning on drawing when I started writing this post.  I was totally planning on harping on the sucky side of being in the middle, but as I kept writing, Dictionary.com showed me the error of my ways and said, “Hey, it’s not so bad being in the middle.  Check out definition three.”  Thanks, Dictionary.com.

I guess, that makes this post pointless… save for this:

P.S. After writing this, I have the urge to listen to Jimmy Eat World.